…tripped on a squirrel carcas, lost a toe.

I need to be more careful with my limbs. I can only sew them back so many times. Hmmm at least I found it this time. Don’t even want to think about not being able to father little undead babies.

Stupid crows! You can’t even “choke the chicken” behind a tree without them snatching anything looking like a twigg.

Anyway, an old one-legged zombie-lady told me I have to start pulling my weight around here. So, I picked up the “Classified” section of today’s news scroll:

“Hmmm…spider meat gatherer? boring ! digging graves? neah! outhouse cleaner… HELL NO. ”

“Hey, this seems interresting, Jimmy needs those pesky skeletons ran out of his farm house, this should be a piece of cake!”

OK…this was a productive day, sleepy time now…

I woke up this morning with a strange feeling of happiness. Rushed to the corner coffee shop for my usual “double venti caramel macchiato” thinking to myself :”This is going to be a fine day for selling insurance door-to-door”.

32 houses, 2 macchiatos and a black eye, later : “I hate my life !”

I always thought I was meant for something greater, “Screw this, I’m done for today”. Got myself a coffee and

headed for home.

Hmmm … who would have thought you could die from caffeine poisoning !?

When I woke up, yeah I woke up after I died, everything was different. I was alive but not really, like a zombie from those old horror movies.At first, I really freaked out, but after a while I realized: “This couldn’t get any worse”. As I walked out of the crypt, cause that’s what it looked like, I realized the scenery had changed from the steel and glass buildings I was used to seeing every day, to a creepy forest decorated with spider webs and graves everywhere.

Something started walking towards me …

“Welcome to Tririsfal Glades… “